I'm scarred...as I read more and more through God's word I read things that are far from my life, which only call for change. Some of this change I do not want in my life, simply because I am scarred to let go of my ingrained belief of comfort in my life. I' am honestly too scarred to lean on God enough consciously to let go. I have been reading a book called The New Friars and I just watched a DSD by Francis Chan entitled Basic: Fear God and I just realize I am not fearing God! I don't believe He says who He is! So now I must choose...DO I actually start to live what I am reading...Do I need to sell all my possessions and give them to the poor or is that too extreme some may say...Do I need to reevaluate what I hold dear in my life and am I putting it...them...her above Him...and now even as I write this I become more scarred for now I see a life ahead of me do I continue for the American dream...a half hearted, luke warm, Sunday Christian, or do I follow? Do I do what's hard and untrendy? Do I maybe start to do things people see as odd and extreme...because I read and it seems like thats what Jesus did...So now what...
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